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Thanks very much for subscribing to Mind Matters, the newsletter that turns brain research into practical leadership tools. This issue is only 691 words and takes less than 4 minutes to read.

Later in "News & Resources," information about a workshop I'm presenting in the Washington, DC area: "Handling Challenging People: Transform Your Mind to Transform Relationships."

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I have a new coaching client, who I’ll refer to as Karen. She’s 42 and has spent most of her career as a scientist. For many years, she ran a small lab in the Research and Development division of a company. When her boss died unexpectedly three years ago, Karen reluctantly agreed to replace him as Director of R & D. Suddenly, she was overseeing a multi-million dollar budget with eight managers reporting to her.

I started our first call by asking how she was doing.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m making a total mess of things. They shouldn’t have hired me to run this place. I should resign and go back to a technical position where I was happy.”

A Bad Hair Day is nothing.

I wanted to save Karen from a Bad Mind Day.

My job was to help Karen notice that when she thinks poorly, she leads poorly. You can imagine how Karen’s thoughts impact her inner confidence and her outer behavior. If she can’t calm herself down, she wouldn’t be able to lead anyone.

To help her calm herself, I introduced her to an important ally in her mind, her Reporter. Like a good leader, a good reporter is curious, unbiased, and focused. A good reporter separates her personal experience from what she’s reporting on even if it’s upsetting or personally threatening. As a result of focusing her mind on what’s happening in the present moment, a reporter can stay calm in the midst of chaos.

One famous example was Herbert Morrison, the Chicago radio correspondent who was reporting on the Hindenburg in New Jersey in 1937. As it was landing, the large blimp exploded before his eyes. Despite his shock, he composed himself enough to report on the rescue efforts and to interview survivors.

I’m not suggesting that leaders face the same level of trauma as Mr. Morrison or a war correspondent. However, being able to notice and describe what’s happening in your experience with an unbiased attitude —even if you’re having a strong reaction---can help you stay calm and act more clearly. The Reporter is another term for mindfulness---an awareness of the present moment. The Reporter’s ability to describe what’s happening in the present moment is called “labeling.”

Labeling is an effective way to calm the mind and body without repressing even the most negative experiences that you or others have. It might sound counterintuitive to describe what’s upsetting. Wouldn’t it make more sense to ignore it, and move on? Unfortunately, ignoring an experience doesn’t make it go away. In fact, acknowledging your thoughts and feelings can calm the mind.

Suzanne: “You’re very observant, Karen. You just stated your negative thoughts very clearly. What feelings are you having about them?’

Karen: “They happen more often now that I'm the boss.”

Suzanne: “Let’s talk about the difference between a thought and a feeling. ’They happen more often’ is a thought. What feelings or emotional state do you experience while you’re having those unpleasant thoughts?”

Karen: “I don’t know what you mean.”

Suzanne: “Feelings come in four general categories: Mad, Sad, Glad, and Afraid, with lots of flavors underneath each one.”

Karen: “Oh, I get it. I feel mad that I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel sad that I miss my old job. I’m worried and embarrassed that I’m not performing at a level that my team deserves.”

Suzanne: “Great job describing your experience, Karen. That skill is called labeling. How do you feel now?”

Karen: “It’s weird. I feel calmer. Like I can talk about my miserable experience with a little bit of distance. Is that normal?”

Suzanne: “Yes, it’s completely normal. Labeling is a skill I’d like to invite you to practice. As soon as your Reporter notices that you’re getting upset, you can either write your thoughts and feelings down or say them out loud. This practice will train your mind to catch and label your negative thoughts quickly.”

Stayed tuned for my next newsletter to see how Karen used the labeling technique. And, try it yourself. When you notice that you’re uncomfortable or upset, simply describe in your mind what you are experiencing.

I'd like to hear your results with labeling. Send me your thoughts or questions about how it works.

News and Resources:

• I'm excited to be presenting a workshop for the Chesapeake Bay Organization Development Network on Thursday, October 14th at 6:30pm at the Georgetown University Clarendon Campus. If you're in the DC area, I hope you can join us for this fun, interactive session on Handling Challenging People: Transform Your Mind to Transform Relationships.

Suzanne

Suzanne Kryder, Ph.D.
P.O. Box 11892
Washington, DC 20008 USA
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